Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
