not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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