That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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