You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
