its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
