dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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