Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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