barbara walters just said penis...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize