try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
