OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
