To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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