My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
this hospital has no fireball
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
