come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Too much gin, very little bucket
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
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