Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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