Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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