My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
