On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
