If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
