I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can't turn off my feet"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
