It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How's work?
Spinning.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
