the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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