So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
where are you?
Hypothermia
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
