all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
