She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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