You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize