apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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