after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize