We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize