it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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