Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Two words: blizzard sex
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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