Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize