got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
