Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
