I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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