Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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