apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
