so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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