you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
