he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
