Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize