On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
