Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
