I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The feeling are messing with the penis
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
