This girl is more easily done than said...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
