I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
