Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
