idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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