I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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