He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All the doctor said was why
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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