I look better un-naked...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
