I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
