he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
