your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize