Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Randomize
