Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
