who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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