I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
