After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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